Interpretations:Santa's Beard

From This Might Be A Wiki

Interpretation 1[edit]

Great song. Obvious meaning, though; very literal. The narrorater's wife (girlfriend?) has a crush on the singer's friend. His friend goes to their house every year on Christmas as a fake Santa. And he caught them kissing, hence she was wearing "Santa's beard." 10:32, July 20, 2004

Interpretation 2[edit]

This song was quite possibly inspired by the classic "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus" by Jimmy Boyd. —Preceding unsigned comment added by (talkcontribs) 04:25, December 19, 2004

Agreed! It's a new wave spin or maybe even a sequel. Seriously though this is a mix of the pre rock and roll story telling songs and new wave guitar. Bizarrely under-rated by they might be wiki fans it's a fantastic Christmas song and Flans at his best. Like many songs on Lincoln the more conventionally romantic songs are far more easier to relate to than the more abstract lyrics of their more recent album. Brilliant Lyrics. (Mr Tuck) 16:32, August 1, 2014‎

Interpretation 3[edit]

The song also represents the hell that is society and how it can crush the singer due to the many horrible things happening to him. He has found despair, and discovers that he has no hope in society anymore. --Jaybob1222 11:11, July 2, 2005

Interpretation 4[edit]

TMBW reports that the song has been added to an iTunes children's playlist "even with the underlying meaning". Underlying meaning, my wiki! The song is blatantly about, um, fooling around. I guess kids are more sophisticated than they were in my day, pant, wheeze. But then, it's only a mutation of "Mama's Twistin' With Santa", by Mark Anthony and the Elfs. --M. Fudd 16:07, 6 Dec 2005 (EST)

That was me. Eh. I was just saying that it was the Funny But Sad stuff. Is a kid gonna pick up that his girlfriend is cheating on him with Santa? No, they're gonna get a story about a girl on Santa's lap wearing a beard. Just sayin'. -Ecks 16:30, December 6, 2005

Interpretation 5[edit]

At first of course i thought of somebody's girlfriend or wife cheating on them with "santa", but then i thought that maybe it was about a Dad's daughter loving santa more then him. I mean, come on, what child doesn't love santa? —Preceding unsigned comment added by (talkcontribs) 23:59, July 8, 2006

The problem with that hypothesis is that the narrator specifies that he is singing about his wife. "Once a year, my friend puts on a red suit, And hangs around with me and my wife" --Thirtysilver 20:31, 16 May 2009 (UTC)

Interpretation 6[edit]

I always think that this song is referring to a gay relationship somehow. Santa's "Beard." There is a love triangle between Santa and the girl, and they both reject Flansburgh. —Preceding unsigned comment added by (talkcontribs) 10:17, February 7, 2009

Interpretation 7[edit]

All of the preceding, but the "friend" in question is actually Santa Claus. —Preceding unsigned comment added by (talkcontribs) 10:17, February 7, 2009

The Narrator's Family Is Over-emphasizing the Secular[edit]

When Flans sings about his wife "wearing Santa's beard" and what-not, it is implied that he's concerned about the more secular parts about Christmas (Santa himself, receiving presents, snowmen, etc.). He's probably worried his wife and the rest of his family has forgotten some other aspects of Christmas such as family time together, emphasis on giving presents and possessions, and (though Flans isn't religious) perhaps Jesus Christ.

For the record[edit]

American Christmas clichés may be "too obvious" to point out, but in case they aren't (perhaps to TMBG's non-American fans, or for a future generation) here are a few referenced by the song.

(1) Yes, some men - for fun, not professionally - dress up as Santa around the Christmas season: they put on red suits & fake fluffy white beards. If you do this, you and your romantic partner might find it sexy & cute if she removes the beard from your face & wears it on hers.

(2) Children line up to see Santa in shopping malls ahead of the holiday, to tell Santa what they want delivered under the Christmas tree. When they do, they climb up on his knee and sit on his lap. They whisper their gift wishes in his ear.

(3) Santa is fat.

(4) A holiday tune that every American (of the Johns' generation) knows is "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus". Spoiler alert: Santa is Daddy.

(5) If a couple "just happen" to find themselves under a small bough of mistletoe (hung conveniently for the season in a hallway or an arch), they are supposed to kiss each other.

--Nehushtan (talk) 08:04, 7 July 2022 (EDT)